CUSTOMER: "I need to buy a new battery." 

SERVICE: "What do you mean?" 

CUSTOMER: "The battery in my car's dead and won't recharge. So please sell me a new battery." 

SERVICE: "You can't parts. Only authorized service centers will. If you want us to service your car, I'll write up an order. Now, what are the symptoms?" 

CUSTOMER: "The car has been having trouble starting, especially when it's cold. I've even had to push start it some times. If you switch on the lights, they've very dim, which indicates an electrical problem. The battery's five years old. I've put it on a charger, and it will not hold a charge." 

SERVICE: (writes: WON'T START. CHECK LIGHTS).  

SERVICE: "Your car's ready. All of the light bulbs are weak, and needed to be replaced, including the bulbs in the dashboard, so there's a dashboard removal charge. We also needed to replace the starter motor, the alternator, the distributor, and the engine. The total comes to $5,328.73." 

CUSTOMER: (gasping) "What about the battery?" 

SERVICE: Huh? 

Customer goes to shop. Tries to start car. It doesn't turn over.